| procrastination and resolutions. |
[03 Jan 2008|06:26pm] |
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mood |
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 refreshed |
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wow i can't believe this thing still exists. i feel like it has been years and yet they were so kind to not delete my account. sigh.
i just had one of the best work outs of life. isn't it funny how nearly everyone around you has the new years resolution to lose weight? well, for the record, i just feel a bit tubby and wanted to burn some extra energy i had lingering. i don't officially have any new years resolutions. unless of course you refer to the one i have about not starting rediculous fights while drunk. pfft. never do that again! what a friggin waste of time and energy. i could have used it to work out. exhale.
lately i've been getting out of my groove and i need to get back in. i feel as though i truly have perfected the art of procrastination and i must break the chain some how. today i tried desperately to get a good start on my project, but alas! the top 50 virgin music videos on much got the best of me! i'm not surprised. it was quite good programming and it's alarming how great the mid 90's were when the backstreet boys were born. ah, the utter lameness that is the backstreet boys. i know, right? how COULD i resist? sigh again. and again.
this year and next really need to be my years. they do. well, more so 2009- since it is then i need at least ONE interview and ONE acceptance. just one. oh, and to U of T, did i mention that? not to be picky or anything, but a girl has her expectations and aspirations, and it just so happens they both reside in the t-dot. i feel like i need to do more sometimes, and then others i remember that i DO need a couple of minutes to breathe. which reminds me. breathe.
so this is it. i started the year off with an appropriate entry, somewhat summarizing a glimpse into my life. actually, not really, considering all i did is ramble about new years resolutions and what not. but it could have been good. maybe later. i think i'll procrastinate a bit more. i wish i could resolve that part of my life. ctl. alt. delete. smile.
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| life needs to calm the fuck down |
[06 Feb 2007|10:19am] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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Just for the record... everyone needs to just chill out and realize one thing. life isn't a perfect road, nor is it meant to be. we aren't supposed to have a predetermined destiny, rather we shape the way we want our destiny to be. we are accountable for our own actions, our own lives. we aren't children any longer thus we DO have the capacity to make intelligent decisions. The right decisions- for us. It isn't anyone else's choice the way I wish to live and the path that I choose to take. What I choose is not to be disputed, rather celebrated and embraced. Family shouldn't be torn and blamed, but united and peaceful.
This situation should be frowned upon, and one day you will wake up and realize that this is nonsense and a big waste of our precious time together. You will find that regret is an enemy that might never leave you, and sorry is just not a strong enough word. One day, you will recognize that happiness is the most important thing in this ugly and cold world.. and I have found it, and lived it, and loved it. I love her and there isn't anything or anyone that can change that.
The truth shall set you free.
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| i love pandas |
[24 Mar 2006|01:41pm] |
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mood |
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 can't tell you that either.. |
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music |
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i'm not telling |
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I'm sick today, and a sad muffin for whitney's mom. I hope she is ok, i wish i could be there. but i can't go back this weekend..too much to do, unfortunately. it's ok panda, she'l be ok. :)
What else is cooking? nothing, just exhausted as usual and a little scared for the future. whatevs, it's gonna hit me eventually.
I never finished that list.. maybe you could help me?
soo excited for it to be 1pm on april 30. yes yes.. sunday april 30.
oh but don't forget its right back to work on may 1. at least it's going to be something i love and am looking forward to. atleast it's a sweeet job.
at least..at least.. at least.
so that's what it's come down to eh?
2 and a bit more weeks of class. then finals. kill me now, someone, please.
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[20 Mar 2006|09:33pm] |
summer = many fun activities
1. grand bend
2. camping
3. ottawa/canada day
4. mtl?
5. centre island
6. toronto-hotel?
7. ummmmmm how come i can't remember the list??
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| monkey bars and some sore hands |
[20 Mar 2006|09:19pm] |
sooo much to do.. so little motivation, so tired of all of this.
just so tired
i think i want to go to bed early but i have to finish somethig first
and i have to wait for car to call me.
it's difficult having to hide again, so much easier when she and i are both in places where everyone knows.
i talked to my cousin tonight in BC for the first time in a long time, it was odd. i never thought her relationship wth her first girlfriend would last because of the long distance, but low and behold, it has, she moved there, and they are happy as ever. nuts. i'm also jealous. can you tell? i wish a certain someone was here
enough sap for now.. i'll leave that up to the trees. haha i'm too funny. i know.
i've been thinking alot lately about first loves. they are always the strongest, the ones you never want to let go of. its weird because each and every step you take or idea you persue was somehow shaped by that first someone. you grow together and hold a special bond that no one else can immitate because it's yours. it's something you hold on to...super tight like monkey bars maybe. it always comes down to that. i think it's weird. i always loved monkey bars. but they fuckin hurt your hands. similar to those ones that hurt your heart. even if you're stil with them. love hurts man.
i guess it's just funny to rrealize the impact of one person. or not so funny. you can agree to disagree.
one fuckin person. out of how many billion?
one
just one.
who is your one?
im getting tired of this. this is always the worst part of the year. march. fuck
birthday soon. i'll be legal everywhere..
huh. i'm old. and scared.
and tired. very fuckin tired.
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[10 Dec 2005|11:28am] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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music |
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silence is virtue |
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remember the time that i studied for 12 hours the day before the exam, just to make sure i knew everything, went a little crazy at the library but chris helped me out and remained my side kick (or i was his)..
and rememeber the morning of that 9:00 am final worth 50%? Do you remember what time i woke up for that exam? ohh..9:30 you say.. well that doesn't sound right. how could that be?
i'm such an idiot.
but i think i still rocked it.. :)
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[08 Dec 2005|09:18pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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reunion |
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MY STOMACH FUCKIN HURTS!!!!
AHHH I NEED TO CUT IT OUTT.
STUPID NERVES. I DON'T WANNA WRITE EXAMS.
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| drugs of addiction |
[06 Dec 2005|11:22am] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
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music |
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dishwasher |
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Just doing some pathology studying. this information is right out of my text book.
Drugs of Addiction:
The mechanism of brain damage caused by morphine, cocaine, and other related drugs
(such as crystal meth) is being investigated but poorly understood. In the acute situation, cocaine and meth can be associated with intracerebral hemorrhage, thought to be due to transient severe hypertension.
AKA - Taking those drugs severely increases one's blood pressure at the time, and makes that individual extremely suscepitble to brain hemorrhage..causing death.
I think that makes my point pretty clear. I hope the right eyes are laying upon this information. You know who you are. I'll bring you your l word this weekend. stay strong, cuz i kno you can.
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| ohhh i wish i were on oscar mayar ____what???? |
[01 Dec 2005|10:46pm] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
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music |
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queer eye for the straight guy - nudist edition |
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goin home again this weekend..to see my beautiful niece. not really sure how thomas produced her lol..just kidding. getting stressed, although it's the kind of stress where im not sure how to deal with it. I feel as though i should be studying non stop but i'm not. It happens every year like this, and as the test approaches i will be wishing that i studied more the week before.
i'm such an idiot
..but i'm still sitting on a 91 average. mwahaha
gonna deal with bri this weekend along with my trusty side kick whitney.. see if we can straighten things out. not sure if there's anything i can do, although i know she likes talking with me (bri that is, but also whitney..lol coincidentally.. they all want my shit). maybe she'll listen to me. i thought i got through to her before.. about school. i know she wants me to be proud of her, but i'll only be truly proud of she leaves the drugs behind. i'l be supportive no doubt. always supportive.
anyways, i'm watching queer eye for the straight guy, and it's really funny this time actually. about a nudist. quite interesting.
new years is gonna be killer.. kinda pulling my hair out planning it though. lots of research and tedious work. hopefull it works out according to plan!!!
till next time... should start studying
but i won't.. lol i won't do it
and chu can't make me
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| summer job application a success |
[21 Nov 2005|12:52pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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music |
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dukie is snoaring |
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SOOOOOOO EXCITED...
sick kids here I come!!!
Feels good to have security in what i'm going to do. I like it
This year is turning out better than I could have ever expected.
Gotta keep it up
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| great day |
[17 Nov 2005|11:29pm] |
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mood |
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excited |
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music |
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tired silence |
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MY NIECE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CHILD EVER BORN!!!
well...besides me of course! tee heee
Mia Mickeala Nielsen - born 18:38, 52cm, 9lbs 1oz.
big beautiful girl.
i wish i could describe the emotions, but unfortunately there are no words.
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| hehe, with a side of HAHA |
[25 Oct 2005|10:18pm] |
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mood |
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chipper |
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music |
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a decade under the influence - taking back |
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Well i think that's just funny.
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| stuff to look forward to in the near future |
[18 Oct 2005|10:49am] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
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music |
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death cab for cutie - stable song |
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things i am going to do after nov. 1st @ 8:30 pm.
1. spend lots of time with my baby
2. smoke a cigar (maybe a colts lol. or somthing tasty)
3. ricky mcgeeeeeeeee with the gang on nov.2
4. drink alot on that evening b/c i can
5. shop in toronto when i go home (eaton centre & queen street!)
6. buy mia a present
7. buy myself a present
8. go out for dinner
9. get a pedicure
10.ask my mommy to make me my fave. salmon.
i think this list will be longer once i start going crazier and look forward to more and more things, example FREE TIME..during the next 2 insane weeks
i think i need a captain relaxo.
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| gotta love life |
[17 Oct 2005|06:59pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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music |
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death cab for cutie - transatlanticism |
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amazing weekend topped off with the best concert of my life.
sounds good to me. fuck death cab is insane.
all i can say is..love it!
haha
...'previous memories will keep me going until our next encounter'...
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[24 Aug 2005|10:30pm] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
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i can only say that
i am proceeding as cautiously optimistic.
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| T-2 Days and i'm dreaming something wonderful... |
[18 Aug 2005|08:47am] |
these are the times that show us what we're really made of.
these are the days that will count in the long run.
this is when my life will come together, or fall apart.
and my heart won't stop pounding until it's done.
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[12 Aug 2005|10:27am] |
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mood |
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pleased |
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music |
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great heights - postal service |
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can i just say fuck you coldplay...
death cab is going to be so much better than you would ever be.
so there.
i'm too excited for this concert. unhealthy really.
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| a year long silenced confusion |
[19 Jul 2005|08:39am] |
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mood |
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confused |
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wow so i get a call, saying now it's my grandmother in the hospital. she's in intensive care.. of course she is.. a repeat of last summer hello. now i'm not really sure how to deal with this. me and her used to be really close,.. well as close as one can be with thier grandmother i guess, when i was younger. then i grew up, and started to understand the kind of person she is. I don't have a problem with grumpy old people, but what i do have a problem with is people who back stab their own children. that shouldn't be right. but she did it.. to my mom, so clearly i have to be protective. hmmmm. i'm not really sure where these thoughts are going. i guess a decision on whether i should go to london this weekend to see her or not. i haven't talked to her in almost a year. since my grandfather died last august. even then we didn't really talk, it was more like she walked by me. no call from her on christmas, or my birthday. in fact, my mom was supposed to have christmas for all of us at her place, and my grandma decided against it. well.. don't think my aunt didn't have anyhting to do with it. she's the worst one of the family...
my grandfather used to say it too.. "linda's alot like madeline"...or "linda's not right inside"... no shit.
i'm so confused. how many tears should i be shedding over this?
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[07 Jul 2005|10:48pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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music |
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alex is watching tv |
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and it's not so much that i was all that attached. it's that i don't understand how something so beautiful wasn't built to last.
isaac being put down tomorrow means i am a sad muffin...
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